...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize