My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
