K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
