Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
