i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize