whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
