Non-Jews are for practice
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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