At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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