Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
