yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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