I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
40s are totally the cure
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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