I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
