If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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