had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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