I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
honey bunches of taint.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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