Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
