There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
