I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
