And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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