if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
