she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
