I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
