He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize