I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
