in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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