apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize