the condom got lost in my hair
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
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