I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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