u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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