you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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