when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
