I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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