I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
