I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
