Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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