Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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