We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
