I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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