it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
