Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
