i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
