This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
