I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
