Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
