Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
