What a fucking waste of an outfit
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
