Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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