you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I could make wine with my vomit
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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