Whod you bang
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
