May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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