My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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