She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
