just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
