He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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