Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
