Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
