party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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