I love black thongs
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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