Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
