what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
