Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
