I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
