This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
