I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
