how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
