if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
