So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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