I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
