dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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