hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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