We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
