i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
