just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
